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As queen of the idiots, I have put together this web site in hopes that I’m not the only one out there. These stories are not meant to be an insult to my husband. He’s a wonderful man and an incredible talented musician who just happens to be a gentle hearted idiot. In fact, have a listen for yourself, download our free MP3's and you will see how talented he is. He just doesn't have an ounce of common sense in his entire body, but he’s still my best friend and confidant. We have been through good times and hard times and after 13 years of marriage he still takes my breath away. I used to believe that if a person makes a mistake that there is some unconscious reason that they purposely did it, but after being married to Mark I’ve come to believe this Freudian theory is just that, a theory. The man is an idiot. He doesn’t have to work at it, it comes natural for him. It’s like being married to Dagwood Bumstead, the nutty professor and Barney Fife all in one man. When it comes to common sense matters Mark is totally lacking and a complete idiot. Some of his idiocies have brought tears to my eyes and have taken weeks to get over but most of the time, it just leaves me laughing and wondering how he’s going to top himself, and believe me, he always seems to accomplish that.

It wasn’t until recently while I was editing Mark’s book, ‘Totally Gone West’ that I realized that he truly sees life with the artist’s eyes. He has no concept of what common sense is. To him life is a song or a painting or poetry. This starry-eyed artist has romanticized the mundane tasks of everyday life and lives with one foot on earth, his head on Mars, while his brain soars in a musical symphony in the heavens.

I have been threatening Mark for years that I was going to write a book called, “I Married An Idiot”. Every time he has done something idiotic I told him that I was going to put it in my book. It’s been a stand up joke in our family since we have been together. Even our 12-year-old daughter Riva has stories to tell about him. I told her she could have a chapter in my book, “My Dad Is An Idiot”.

Two years ago we were vacationing in Balsam Lake Wisconsin at Mark’s mothers cabin. It’s a small quaint little town about 100 years behind the times. The outskirts of the town had recently got a new strip mall with an all night grocery store. Mark and Riva dropped me off at the grocery store one afternoon to buy some food for the cabin while they went off exploring the thrift store. While we were driving back to the cabin Riva presented me with a bumper sticker that her and her father had decidedly picked out just for me. “Men Are Idiots And I Married Their King”. We all laughed and laughed and then I shoved it in my glove compartment hoping Riva would forget about it. I knew Mark bought it as a joke and really didn’t want me attaching it to my car. She never did forget. About a month later she asked me what I did with it and I told her it was in the glove compartment of my car. The next thing I knew she had proudly placed it on my rear bumper and I was advertising to the world that I married an idiot.

I have gotten quite the reaction from that one little bumper sticker. Men have actually raced to get beside me at the stoplight, and in freezing temperatures they will roll down their window just to ask where I got it. I tell them that my husband bought it for me and I watch while they drive away laughing. Women honk their horns and wave at me. I glance over and they have such a big smile on their face as they drive away. I just know that my bumper sticker has hit home. Once I even had an argument at the service station on who was the bigger idiot, this man or my husband. The man insisted that he was the king of the idiots but gave in as soon as I told him that my husband had bought the bumper sticker for me. Although we had both agreed that he probably was a complete idiot, I could see he was sadly disappointed that he was not the king. Even though he did a quick fix on my car for free, I couldn’t help but feel that I did him a service as I drove away. He now has something to aspire too.