Fred, (Mark) came home from work wanting his dinner. "Wilma, (Patty) where's my dinner"? It never ceases to amaze me, just because you do something nice like prepare dinner for the family most nights of the week, how all of a sudden it's expected and it's "your" job. " Well I have had just about enough. I hate cooking and I especially hate cleaning up after it and why should I be the one who does all the cooking and cleaning anyway, besides I'm on a special diet for my health and I can't eat half the stuff I prepare. I'm fed up and I'm going on strike". Mark just looked at me in frustration. I imagine that he was probably thinking to himself, "Oh no not this again. Can't you keep your hormones in check? I work hard all day and the least you could do is have my dinner ready when I get home. I mean what the hell do you do all day? I need to eat now"! Pebbles, (Riva) came in sniveling in her whiniest voice, "Mom I'm starving, where's dinner". Does it never stop?

We all sat in the kitchen in silence for several seconds in a stare down, Fred and Pebbles looking pitifully at me with big hungry brown eyes, like it's my problem. I wonder if Wilma went through these feelings of just wanting to quit. As if things weren't bad enough Dino and Baby-Puss came in, plopped down at my feet and joined in the stare down with their big sad puppy dog eyes pleading for food. "What is this? Am I the only one in this house who can feed the dogs? Am I the only one who can cook the dinners? I said I'm not cooking tonight! I Quit". "But mom, we're starving". "Yeah, yeah, I've heard". "Isn't it payday? Can we afford to go out to eat?" Fred, I mean Mark looked at me pitifully. "No, but I guess. We've gotta eat".

Excluding the bow-wows, we all hopped in Marks clunker, 89 Jeep, and headed to the Green Mill. After the first left turn, we drove with the blinker on for the rest of the ride. I normally tell Fred to turn it off but this time I held my tongue. Is it my job to tell him how to drive and all of the dysfunctions of his own car? No, I quit. I was going to enjoy my night out, blinker or no blinker.

It seemed idiot's luck was on our side. It was Friday night and there was no waiting. We were seated quickly, served drinks and ordered immediately. After the waiter took our order he asked if we would like a basket of bread. Fred surprised us when he said, "No. We don't eat bread anymore". My mouth dropped open in utter horror. Riva and I looked at her father and shook our heads. "Why in the world would you say something like that Mark"? In the mean time the waiter had left, he had probably heard enough domestic arguments for the day. "Dad mom doesn't eat bread, but we do". "Yeah, I thought you said you were hungry and since when don't you eat bread? Look at how skinny you are. Mark you need to eat bread, I on the other hand need to stay away from it for my health". "But what about my health"? "Mark, you are not sick, my symptoms are not yours. I don't know anyone healthier than you. You're never sick". Mark sighed in relief, "Well a basket of bread does sound good".

We soon got involve in other conversation as we waited for our food. It seemed to be taking a really long time. Mark was so hungry he was chewing his ice and biting his nails. I was getting drunk off of one rum and coke, and Riva was beginning to squirm in her seat. The waiter finally came back and gave us refills on our drinks. I was just taking a sip of my drink, trying to keep the buzz going, when out of the blue Fred Flintstone was back in living color. "Where's is our breadbasket"? My mouth dropped open in shock. Riva gave a whelping, "Dad" and the waiter stood there looking dumbfounded, then quickly turned and left hurriedly like he never heard Mark.

"I married an idiot! Mark you told the waiter that we didn't eat bread". "No, I told him that you didn't eat bread". "No dad you said WEEE didn't eat bread. I heard it with my own two ears. You said WEE". Riva and I laughed hysterically while Mark turned completely red in the face. "Mark why don't you just flag down the waiter and order some bread". "No, our food should be here any minute. I can wait". "I don't think you can, and I really don't think we can afford for you to give up carbs. You need to eat way too much and the low carb diet is really expensive". Still laughing I got up and ordered a basket of bread from our waiter. We laughed tears while Fred and Pebbles gobbled up the breadrock and butter. I'm still laughing. Yabba Dabba Doo!