I really didn't want to write about this, but family members and close friends found it to be such a hilarious situation and insisted on it. Thanks a lot! I find it to be an experience that I would never want repeated and that has left me traumatized for the rest of my life. Talk about having the crap scared out of you, well this did the complete opposite.
It was Thursday, late morning, September 9, 2004. I was up writing very late the night before. I am going on my third week of not smoking and I felt on edge and groggy. I had finally convinced myself that I didn't need a cigarette and went downstairs to the bathroom. I looked in the toilet before I took the throne. The coast was clear, no one left any surprises for me. With the dignity of a queen, I took my rightful place on my royal seat and proceeded with my business. "Tinkle, tinkle. Plop, plop, plop". Whew, I felt relief. Then I heard another "plop, plop". "That was strange", I had thought to myself, "I didn't feel anything come out". I lifted my queenly ass and looked in the toilet. "EEEEEEKKKKKK"! I jumped to the ceiling and slam dunked the toilet lid down and flushed. I had given birth to a real live sewer rat. I slowly lifted the lid and peeked inside. It was dog paddling around in my toilet looking up at me with its beady little rat eyes. I slammed the lid down and trembled. "Oh my god, oh my god. Mark where the hell are you when I need you". I had no choice but to deal with the situation myself. Mark and Jamie were at work and Riva was at school. I was alone, just me and oh yeah and my dogs. "Scooter, Yuffie, come here", they'll protect me. Damn dogs completely ignored me; I knew I couldn't depend on them.
The tank was done filling so I flushed again, this time holding the handle down so the water would continue to flow into the bowl. It seemed like an eternity as I stood there, waiting for some sign, any sign, that the rat was gone and I could let up on the handle. "Go on back to the sewer you nasty rat. How dare you come up on my watch"? I eased up on the handle and chanted over the toilet, "Please be gone. Please be gone". I slowly lifted up the seat again. The rat changed its swim to the sidestroke as it went round and round the bowl looking up at me with those evil rat eyes. I slammed the lid down again. As I waited for the tank to refill I contemplated what other course of action I could take. I looked around the bathroom for the plunger or a bucket or some other tool that would empower me. If I ran out to the garage and got the hammer, then I could just clunk it on the head, knock it out then fish it out and put it outside. Everything was too far away. The more I thought about it the more my imagination ran away with it. I envisioned the rat, larger than life, lifting up the lid with it's colossal rat nose, escaping and/or planning a sneak attack on me or making a meal on my dogs while I was gone fetching a tool for it's demise. I couldn't leave for a tool. It was just my wits and me and I had to protect my poor lazy cowardly good for nothing but loving dogs.
With my foot holding down the toilet lid, so the giant evil dog-eating rat couldn't escape, I started flushing again and again and again. I did this over and over, probably over a hundred flushes until I finally stopped. Still holding down the lid, I waited again while the tank refilled. Apprehensive about copping a peek and my imagination still working overtime, I slowly lifted the lid one last time, ready to do battle with my bare hands when the giant rat flies out of the toilet and pounces on me gnawing and biting. Nothing. I lifted the lid higher. Gone. Whew! Flushed. Yes! I then took the shower hose to the toilet and ran hot water through the toilet and flushed the pipes, hopefully washing away the army of giant attack sewer rats back to the main sewer. I closed the lid in triumph and proceeded to my computer knowing I will never be able to poop again.
In total shock I spent the rest of the day researching on google, key words, 'rats in toilets' and 'rats coming up from the sewer into your toilet'. It seems that I wasn't the only one spying a rat in my toilet; there were a couple of real life stories about it. I continued my search in the news. I was looking for more exact information like, 'if a rat comes up from your sewer into the toilet does that mean there is something wrong with the sewer line and/or the pipes and the city would charge us thousands to fix it?' Nada, nothing on who is responsible for this rat being in my toilet. I did find out what gerbling is though, shocking, (don't ask), but I hit a brick wall on the rat thing. I had to resort to calling the city sewer department and risk a giant sewer repair bill.
"Minneapolis City Sewer. May I help you"? "Yes I was hoping you can give me some information about, how do I put this? Rats coming up from the sewer into your toilet". The man on the other end of the phone replied very matter of factly, "Well it happens. I gotta tell you, there are rats in the sewer". "Do you get many complaints about it"? I asked. "We get a few. Not to many". "Well can you tell me if a rat comes up from the sewer into my toilet, does that mean that there is something wrong with my plumbing"? The city sewer man put my mind at ease, "No, no, on the contrary, it means you have really good plumbing if a rat can find it's way thru. Did you have a rat come up from the sewer into your toilet"? "Yeah, is there something that can be done about it"? "Is it still there"? "No I flushed it to hell". "Well, always keep the lid shut and look in the toilet before you sit down". Excitedly I replied, "I did, I absolutely did looked in the toilet before I sat down". I could hear the amusement in the man's voice, "You're kidding, you mean it came up when..." "Yes! It came up when I was pooping. I am totally traumatized". "I don't blame you but at least it was dead". "No it was very much alive". "Noooo", he said in disbelief. "Yeeeesssss. It was alive"! I replied. "Are you sure"? Still questioning my sanity. "Yes. I watched it dog paddle around my toilet and it winked at me, I know what live is. Is there something I can do to prevent this from happening again"? The city sewer man seemed quite amused. I think he was laughing at me secretly as he went into his spiel. "You could hire a plumber to come out and run a camera thru your line to make sure you don't have a family of rats nesting in your pipes". "Oh my God! Don't say that". "...or you could make a large investment and have them put in a liner and it will never happen again". "Isn't there something I can do that doesn't cost so much money? I don't have a hell of a lot of money to work with at this time. If I flushed poison into the sewer would that get rid of them for a while"? "The city can come out and bait the sewers around your block at no cost to you but it's not permanent, it only lasts a couple of months". I thought for a minute to myself, 'Well that's better than holding it forever'. "That would be great how soon can it be done"?
I finally began to relax knowing that the problem is being handled. It would take me a few days of closely watching the toilet until the sewer was baited. At least I'll have a two-month reprieve... and then what?
©Rivasriches2002
Letters From Readers
(Email your comments and letters and I will post them.)
I ran across your site when i was looking up sewer rats. The story you described is exactly what happened to me this morning! I was peeing and heard a funny noise like water running but I didn't think anything of it because a pipe from the upstairs apartment runs next to the toilet and all the water from upstairs runs through it. I could hear my dad awake and washing clothes, so I thought that's what the water noise was. I got up to flush and saw it. I screamed bloody murder. I wasn't exactly sure what it was at first, i thought something had backflowed into the toilet. Then I saw the tail and movement then I screamed and ran. I think he paddled around a bit and then I guess he went back the way he came. I ran upstairs and got my dad and he came down and there was no sign of it. I didn't close the lid, i just ran. I was worried he got out of the toilet bowl but the floor around the toilet wasn't wet at all, so he must have went back down. I am now terrified to use the toilet. I'm sure if he had gotten out I would have seen him in the house by now and it would have been wet somewhere around the bathroom floor but it wasn't so I'm hoping he's gone. Just wanted to share my story and say thank you, your story made me feel like less of a freak knowing it happened to someone else. I hope your rat doesn't come back and I hope mine doesn't either. :)
Thanks,
Tish
11/18/2005
I hope I am emailing the right person we are in Australia and found a rat in our toilet this morning same situation as you again!!! thought i would let you know that it happens down here and i got a bloody heart attack!!! i am shit scared of rats and the best of times but am now scared of toilets too
many regards
bridgette
09/19/2006
Me 2!!
Today, I came home on my short lunch break from work, because I had to use the bathroom (if you know what I mean), and to spend sometime with my son before heading back to work and then to school. My bathroom door was shut, however, that didn't really mean anything because we often kept it shut to keep my son out. My three (useless!) cats were all surrounding the toilet, but the lid was closed. I opened the lid and screamed! There was a rat in the toilet! A soaking wet rat! I immediately called my land lord, who sent over 4 guys within 5 min. They took the rat out with tongs and put it in a box. They took the box outside and said they were going to smash it. I must admit, I felt kinda bad for the lil creature, he seemed scared and lost. Anyways, the men said that they thought that the rat got in through a small hole in the back, and the cats scared it and it ran into the toilet! I think that it must have swam up through the toilet because it was soaked. Also, how would it have shut the lid? My dad told me a similar story of this happening to a woman, but I didn't really believe it until it happened to me!
Anonymous
