I once encountered a woman in passing at the local co-op. As I was walking out she was walking in. She asked me, "Is that your car with the bumper sticker"? (There were only 2 cars in the parking lot). I gave her a big smile, "Yes. I'll admit it. I married an idiot, but he's a wonderful idiot". I am very proud of my idiot. The woman turned her nose up and put on a snobby air, "Did he divorce you "? "No, why would he do that"? "Well, you're not still married to him are you"? "Yes. He's a wonderful idiot and we are very much in love". The woman rolled her eyeballs and gave a fake laugh. I continued to walk to my car but I couldn't leave it like that. I turned and yelled to her, "Maybe you better do your due diligence and research idiots before you go around passing judgment. You know in some cultures the idiot is revered".

I stood in line at the service desk at Menard's and out of nowhere a man said, "My wife would agree with you". I looked around but didn't see anyone. I heard it again, "I said my wife would agree with you". I turned around. There was an elderly gentleman standing several feet behind me looking at something off in the distance. "Are you talking to me"? I asked. He turned his gaze toward me and gave me a shy smile. "Yes. I followed you into the parking lot. My wife would totally agree with your bumper stickers. Those are really funny". I laughed, "Oh yeah? Thanks". "I wish my wife was here, she'd get a kick out of them, then she'd probably talk your ear off about all of the idiot things I've done". Our conversation ended abruptly. It was my turn in line. When I was finished I looked around for my new idiot friend but he was nowhere to be seen.

Oh the drudgery of grocery shopping. I hate grocery shopping. It was a Friday evening in the spring of 2004. With dirty slushy snow still on the ground in the Rainbow Foods Parking lot I was unloading the bags of groceries into the backseat of my car. When I came out for another bag I noticed a man and his pregnant wife standing behind my car gawking and laughing. I wasn't sure what they were doing, "What? Is something wrong with my car"? The man looked up while pointing to my car. "We were just reading your bumper sticker. It's really funny". "Thanks. Which one do you think is so funny"? They pointed to my www.imarriedanidiot.com sticker as they backed up intently looking for any others.

I watched in amusement as they both started laughing hysterically while reading the other, 'Men Are Idiots And I Married Their King'. I finished unloading the last bag as they began to walk away. I stood and watched them push their cart through the slush of the parking lot. In the distance I think I heard her call him an idiot

In late October of 2003 my car was stolen. I called the police and they sent an officer to my house to make a report. There is something about police officers that always makes me nervous. It doesn't matter that I didn't do anything wrong or that I am the victim. For some reason I feel guilty just talking to them. Anyway this officer started drilling me about my car. "What kind of car was it"? "1985 Buick LeSabre, Limited Edition". Writing down every word I said he continued to ask me questions. "Was it locked"? Okay now I really feel guilty, "No officer it was not". "Why not"? Let's see, how do I explain this to him. "Well you see the key does not always work in the lock. It's an old car and my husband is an idiot. I could name countless times in the past where he has broken the key off in the lock of the car door and/or ignition. He doesn't know his own strength. I have learned through experience not to lock my car. Also the weather is starting to freeze and it is an old car and the locks freeze up". The officer looked at me like I was crazy. "Does the car have any identifying marks that would help us find it"? "No I don't think so. What do you mean"? "Any dents, scratches, broken headlights tail-lights windows, decals or bumper stickers"? "Bumper stickers? Yes it has a bumper sticker". Oh no, I should have never fessed up to the bumper sticker. Now he's gonna think I'm totally loony. He continued with the questioning, "What does the bumper sticker say"? Well here goes, "Men Are Idiots And I Married Their King". The officer started to laugh, "What did you say"? I repeated, "Men Are Idiot's And I Married Their King". The air seemed to lighten up. The officer smiled as he wrote. "Repeat that to me slowly. I want to get every word. Men are idiots and..." I repeated it one last time very slowly as I carefully pronounce each word. The officer could barely keep a straight face as he wrote. When he finished writing the report he gave me a card with the report number and told me that if they don't find it within the next few days the chances decrease with every passing day.

Several days had passed and they still didn't find my car. I was beginning to face the fact that my car was gone forever when I received a phone call on a Friday evening from the police in Grand Rapids Minnesota, two hundred miles away and just over a week after the car had been stolen. Thanks to my bumper sticker they had found my car.