O.K. a couple themes I've talked about in my last two 'idiot speaks rebuttals' is how being an idiot is really not a put down, how I used to feel alienated by it but lately because it's become such a big part of our culture, I feel connected.

It's also got me to wondering, why haven't we sold any of our 'imarriedanidiot.com' bumper stickers? Doesn't any one else want to belong, show their pride, stand up and be counted? Besides we really need to get rid of some of these bumper stickers, so I'm going to start this next story with a shameless sales pitch. A truthful, sincere 'I really don't get it' sales pitch. I mean if you knew the kind of attention you get when you have one of these on your car you wouldn't think twice. Just seeing the smiles or out right laughter of people in your rear view mirror is worth the price alone. People will stop you, gawk at you, give you the thumbs up sign, ect. I mean you may even get a date out of it. O.k. never mind that last part it may not be a good idea since the sticker does suggest that you're married. In fact, it would be an idiotic thing to do, right (wink, wink)? Of course I have thought of another less profitable (not much less) way to get rid of them.

I was thinking I should have bumper stickers with me to hand out to idiots I run into. Like this kid who locked his keys in the car while it was running. He approached me as I was delivering their mail. He was young and for some reason thought that because I had a uniform on that I could assist in this kind of situation. Of course as you may have guessed it is something I'm familiar with having done so myself more than once but I told him that there was nothing I could do. I had nothing in my bag but mail, it was a fairly new car and there's really no way to get into them. As I walked away it occurred to me that if I had had one, I could have given him a bumper sticker. He could have given it to his wife or more likely, future wife or just put it on his locked and forever running car.

On another day a guy came up to me with a bunch of letters and asked if I could deliver them. He had obviously been out looking for me and it was important that they be delivered. The problem was they had no stamps on them. Again I've done the same thing in fact the one time in recent years that I actually got around to sending Christmas cards I forgot to put stamps on so they either came back, (hey, it's the thought that counts) or in other cases my relatives ended up paying for it. Well, it's better to give than to receive, right?

Now what was amazing about this last encounter was seeing the expression on the guys face, slowly realizing what he'd done and being taken aback by it, so unaware " Like how could this be, I mean …. I ….I". It was like looking in the mirror. That must be how I look and it's really not very flattering. But isn't that what a real idiotic occurrence is about, not being aware in the least, not even that nagging, strange feeling that you've forgotten something. Like the time I left my truck running all day while I was at work. It was winter and I was having some starting problems with it so I was going to leave it running for a little while and after I punched in and put my lunch away I'd go back out and turn it off. I forgot, so it ran all day and when I got off work at the end of the day it was still running and it's like you have this flash back and 'oh yea', but nothing before that. Nothing! The fact that no one else noticed or told me it was running makes me think that that would have been a very heavy hand out bumper sticker day. On two different occasions I took 'a car' to the store/to work and then walked/took the bus back home, totally forgetting I had the car. I say in my defense 'a car' because both times it was not my own car but a car borrowed from my Mom and also Patty (my wife) was pregnant (which is why we needed two working cars) at the time and I'm positive that men have done more idiotic things at that time than any other. Go ahead and admit it, write them in and while you're at it, BUY a BUMPER STICKER. Anyway the guy with the letters should have gotten a bumper sticker, something to contemplate as he walked back home to get stamps and maybe just to laugh. Because that's really the most important thing for idiots is to laugh at themselves now and again otherwise if we take it to serious it can be depressing. I know this because there are plenty of times that I can't do something that involves helping out my daughter or something that could save us money or improve our house, car, whatever and it makes me angry that I can't do it and I get very depressed. It's hard to laugh at yourself but it is the best medicine, just ask my wife and daughter they don't seem to have any problem (laughing at me, that is) I think it keeps them from crying or tearing their hair out.

Now if someone had walked up to me the moment I got off the bus and realized that I had left my Moms car at work and gave me a bumper sticker that said 'imarriedanidiot.com' I would have got a kick out of it instead of kicking myself for it. I may have hidden it from my wife or slipped it on her car in the middle of the night and she'd wonder why all these people were looking and laughing. So do your-self a favor, laugh a little, live longer, it's priceless well actually it's $2.95 with shipping and handling or plus shipping and handling, I think. I should ask. Hey, dear, what's a laugh worth?