O.K., first off I always feel a need to explain that I don't take offence to my title as King Idiot in my household though on second thought I will admit there are times when I'm tired or my wife seems to say it in a nastier tone or once to often in the same day that it bothers me. I have to remind myself that to her it's an endearment of sorts and as I've mentioned in past articles a universal achievement for the male of our species.

As I've mentioned before there are different varieties of the male idiot; some are your macho left brained mechanical construction type guys who are idiots when it comes to domestic stuff and whose sensitive romantic sides leave much to be (un) desired. Then there are your very artistic right brained specimens like myself who besides not knowing which way to loosen a screw, charge a battery or adjust an adjustable strap have the former's flaws also loosely intact. My wife does the handyman or should I say woman work around the house but I don't feel completely useless because I have more muscle and so I get to carry things around like sheetrock, grocery bags or old appliances, shovel things like dirt or cement and even when were not doing any work around the house (which usually means were more broke than usual) I can still feel needed whenever there's a pickle or salsa jar that needs it's Christian virgin opening. Of course even in these endeavors I can't escape my title since I 'left the sheetrock facing the wrong direction' and 'broke off some of the corners', dug a hole 'in the wrong place' and can't remember where I put the shovel and the pickle and salsa jars need to be opened again by yours truly because 'some idiot' tightened them to tight. This is getting a little depressing so let's talk about things I know how to do.

I write. Mainly lyrics and music but in the last few years I've been branching out and doing skits and plays and such and since I'm the writer I've also become the director and I like this role very much. It stress's me out to no end and goes against all my soft-spoken anti-social non verbal communication tendencies but I like it and am somewhat good at it. We've put on one to two shows a year for the last couple years and have lost more money than we've made. In fact during my last show (which was a reading of my e-book,