I took a peek at one of my wives stories and I'm here to set the record straight. It has to do with going to this restaurant being very hungry waiting a long time for our food and then asking the waiter, "Where's our bread"? As usual she got it all wrong and as usual I get laughed at and called an idiot when all I was doing was thinking of her and her health. You see, she doesn't eat bread because it effects her in a negative way and so when the waiter said he would be bringing bread I said ' We don't want too much", that's it, but as usual no one heard me correctly. It is strange how my wife, our daughter and the waiter all heard me say 'We don't want any bread', talk about group selective hearing. Sometimes I wonder why I bother to even mumble at all. Sometimes I feel like Rodney Dangerfield, no respect, no compassion and I'm not just talking about my family because they do show they care in other ways. I'm talking about strangers helping out someone they see who may be in the state of mind where they are about to or in the middle of doing something idiotic, or people of a like mind reaching out and lending a hand or 'a thumbs up' at least, to a fellow idiot.

If you see someone with a pop can, water bottle, suitcase, gas cap or even a wallet on the top of their car as they're driving down the road give them a signal, they may not understand but it's worth a try. If you see someone cruising (very slow) on the lake and you notice their anchor is still in the water or the swimming ladder is still down or more likely both wave them down they may just smile and wave back but at least you tried. If you see someone in the water at night pulling a boat by the anchor why not pull alongside and give them some hints on how to get it started. When you see someone cursing as they close the door of their car give them a sad nod of understanding for you can be sure their keys are still in there (though usually they don't figure that out till they're ready to head home after a long days work). If you see headlights left on a parked car and you know the cars to old to turn them off on it's own (there is nothing worse than a poor idiot with a car that's dumber than he is) try looking for the guy or making an announcement in the nearest store.

I confess that I've done all these things if you haven't guessed already and I don't think I'm the only one and I'll bet and my wife will back it up that more men have done these things than woman. It's all right. Like I always say, stand proud. So I'll put my money, if I can find it, where my mouth is and continue in the first person. That check card sticking out of the bank machine, that over due library book returned to the video store, that video we bought returned to the library, those car keys or wallet laying somewhere in the produce section, all mine. That box of cereal in the fridge, those hot dogs in the cupboard, yep. Oh yea, and if you go to sign your name on the debit or credit machine at your local store and notice that someone has signed there name on there with a real pen for all eternity and all mankind to see, look close that's my name. Give 'a thumbs up, man' or a smile I don't care, a little empathy would be nice. And isn't that what life is really all about. Isn't that what you would like on your headstone. Here lies_____ he was a nice guy.

Idiots Unite. Stand proud.